Thursday, November 27, 2003
All Engines Go
I'm out of here faster than a clever analogy out of the mouth of someone desperate to make a joke. Screw everyone in Anthony because I'm jetting. El Paso here I come. Going to the big city. Moving on up to the upper eastside(or wherever the person that takes me in lives). Yes, that's right I have nowhere to live yet....but I would rather sleep on the streets than here for the rest(or, for that matter, any more) of my high school career. This might all be postponed until Christmas break for all I know because I have to see "Angels in America" because Al Pacino looks so much healthier in this movie and if the person I crash with doesn't have HBO I won't be able to look at his pretty face. If I do have to go with someone, I don't want them to have to pay all my tuition because believe me I'm not going to public school after the trainwrecks I've seen. Maybe I should just drop out and get a job. I mean, I am sixteen now. Yahoo! No time to celebrate with all this busy big boy stuff happening.
I'm out of here faster than a clever analogy out of the mouth of someone desperate to make a joke. Screw everyone in Anthony because I'm jetting. El Paso here I come. Going to the big city. Moving on up to the upper eastside(or wherever the person that takes me in lives). Yes, that's right I have nowhere to live yet....but I would rather sleep on the streets than here for the rest(or, for that matter, any more) of my high school career. This might all be postponed until Christmas break for all I know because I have to see "Angels in America" because Al Pacino looks so much healthier in this movie and if the person I crash with doesn't have HBO I won't be able to look at his pretty face. If I do have to go with someone, I don't want them to have to pay all my tuition because believe me I'm not going to public school after the trainwrecks I've seen. Maybe I should just drop out and get a job. I mean, I am sixteen now. Yahoo! No time to celebrate with all this busy big boy stuff happening.
Friday, November 21, 2003
Sometimes: Excerpts from the Mind of a Madman
Sometimes I wonder why I've stayed in this place for so long. I don't think I could ever leave El Paso on my own accord, but why I haven't gotten out of this house yet. I can't stand these mother fucking tyrants always blaming everyFUCKINGthing. Once I get my car, I am going as far as I can, while staying in the city limits of course. My parents don't know any of my friends and this is a fairly big city, so why should they ever be able to find me? I will mis my grandma and aunts and uncles and cousins too much to totally leave. UTEP is a good engineering school, supposedly. And like they said in Orange County, I just need the things that influence me around me to be a good writer. So in other words...FUCK COLLEGE.
Two quoteworty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?!?!?
"I'd like to leave this in my youth."
"I've got you under my wheels."
Sometimes I wonder why I've stayed in this place for so long. I don't think I could ever leave El Paso on my own accord, but why I haven't gotten out of this house yet. I can't stand these mother fucking tyrants always blaming everyFUCKINGthing. Once I get my car, I am going as far as I can, while staying in the city limits of course. My parents don't know any of my friends and this is a fairly big city, so why should they ever be able to find me? I will mis my grandma and aunts and uncles and cousins too much to totally leave. UTEP is a good engineering school, supposedly. And like they said in Orange County, I just need the things that influence me around me to be a good writer. So in other words...FUCK COLLEGE.
Two quoteworty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?!?!?
"I'd like to leave this in my youth."
"I've got you under my wheels."
Saturday, November 15, 2003
Anyone Please Help
I need to get out of this house so badly. I feel sicker and crazier than ever right now. Every second I am there I see that dead dog lying in a pool of blood(or shit, whatever the hell it was.) Why did I have to find it? Why did I have to move it? Everything pointed to it dying. Mike getting the three sixes on his test and homework. The six dead birds. I was scared as shit when I found it dead. I thought something a lot bigger was going to happen like Ashley having a heart attack or something. Everywhere I look I see all the horrible things that have happened here. The nail in my brother's foot. My brother's nail torn off. All the blood from the times we've punched through that stupid glass window. But that dog haunts me the most. I don't want to go home ever again.
While I was trying to acheive this dream of never going home, I celebrated Ashley's birthday. I told my parents I was going to and they said it was fine and didn't specify any restrictions of any kind. So after everything I get home at two o'clock in the morning and suddenly it's my fault that my parents weren't awake when I called to tell them when I'd be home and that they didn't specify that I needed to be home by eight. My punishment? Grounded for two fucking weeks. TWO WEEKS? THAT'S 14 DAYS. MY BIRTHDAY IS IN 9 DAYS, YOU FUCKS! One, it was one of my best friends' birthdays. Two, when I need to go to work they could give me more than two hours advance warning. After I get home at two, my dad wakes me up at 7:30 saying that I need to get ready for work. I need to get out. If anyone got me out of here, that would be the greatest present ever. I can barely eat since that dog and I want to throw up the food every time I do manage to swallow the food. I can barely sleep. I really am going really crazy.
I need to get out of this house so badly. I feel sicker and crazier than ever right now. Every second I am there I see that dead dog lying in a pool of blood(or shit, whatever the hell it was.) Why did I have to find it? Why did I have to move it? Everything pointed to it dying. Mike getting the three sixes on his test and homework. The six dead birds. I was scared as shit when I found it dead. I thought something a lot bigger was going to happen like Ashley having a heart attack or something. Everywhere I look I see all the horrible things that have happened here. The nail in my brother's foot. My brother's nail torn off. All the blood from the times we've punched through that stupid glass window. But that dog haunts me the most. I don't want to go home ever again.
While I was trying to acheive this dream of never going home, I celebrated Ashley's birthday. I told my parents I was going to and they said it was fine and didn't specify any restrictions of any kind. So after everything I get home at two o'clock in the morning and suddenly it's my fault that my parents weren't awake when I called to tell them when I'd be home and that they didn't specify that I needed to be home by eight. My punishment? Grounded for two fucking weeks. TWO WEEKS? THAT'S 14 DAYS. MY BIRTHDAY IS IN 9 DAYS, YOU FUCKS! One, it was one of my best friends' birthdays. Two, when I need to go to work they could give me more than two hours advance warning. After I get home at two, my dad wakes me up at 7:30 saying that I need to get ready for work. I need to get out. If anyone got me out of here, that would be the greatest present ever. I can barely eat since that dog and I want to throw up the food every time I do manage to swallow the food. I can barely sleep. I really am going really crazy.
Thursday, November 13, 2003
An Attempt at What to Say When Someone Tells You “Say Something”
What do you want me to say? ‘Thanks for the experience’? ‘Oh well, maybe I won’t miss on the next one’? ‘Well, at least that makes me one closer to the one I’m looking for’? I can’t answer that when right now I don’t even want to look at you, much less talk to you. You know what it’s like to take in that kind of information and have to give a response that won’t make me seem ashamed.
Is there some correct answer I can give you like this is a job interview? Something that will make you suddenly change your mind and say ‘Oh, what the hell? He’s not that bad after all.’ Could I make you fall in love with me in just a few words? Any suggestions. You had me at hello. The things I said to you were true. As we speak, I’m going down. Love me now? Did you ever love me? Was it all lies? Was this eminent? Was this my magic elephant? Big as a house. Sitting in the living room and I didn’t see it because I couldn’t face the truth. Ignorance is bliss.
Why are you still here? I’d run away crying like a little girl with a scraped knee by now, but I’m crippled by what you told me. Maybe it’s more that I’m weighted down in pain. Shouldn’t I feel light as a feather with the burden of a relationship removed from my back? Or did I finally get rid of the load to be hit by a ton of bricks?
Oh well. It was fun, right? Fun enough to lose almost all connection with the world outside for this? Fun enough to give my friends up for yours? Fun enough to use/waste all my funds on your amusement? Fun enough to remember the good times and shrug it off after it’s over? It was fucking Six Flags, wasn’t it? Oh, it was Six Flags alright. A roller coaster ride that went straight down, but it was a slow decline, so it would be easier on the weak of heart. Guess only one passenger out of the two that ride survive. OH WELL.
Maybe I can ask you a few questions. Why did even start it with me if you knew this was going to happen? When you knew that your feelings weren’t stronger than steel? Why figure that it will grow with time? If they weren’t like steel, then they were probably as flimsy as aluminum. Aluminum rusts and when it rusts it’s still as sharp as fuck and if you get cut the only way to get better is to find fast relief. And let me tell you something. I’m trash, but I’m above using whores. Well, I guess I’m wrong there. I racked up quite a bill with you.
Author’s note: If above results in any bodily harm from the audience, Tiger of Oz® cannot and will not be held accountable. The preceding was simply a suggestion of many responses that can be given.
What do you want me to say? ‘Thanks for the experience’? ‘Oh well, maybe I won’t miss on the next one’? ‘Well, at least that makes me one closer to the one I’m looking for’? I can’t answer that when right now I don’t even want to look at you, much less talk to you. You know what it’s like to take in that kind of information and have to give a response that won’t make me seem ashamed.
Is there some correct answer I can give you like this is a job interview? Something that will make you suddenly change your mind and say ‘Oh, what the hell? He’s not that bad after all.’ Could I make you fall in love with me in just a few words? Any suggestions. You had me at hello. The things I said to you were true. As we speak, I’m going down. Love me now? Did you ever love me? Was it all lies? Was this eminent? Was this my magic elephant? Big as a house. Sitting in the living room and I didn’t see it because I couldn’t face the truth. Ignorance is bliss.
Why are you still here? I’d run away crying like a little girl with a scraped knee by now, but I’m crippled by what you told me. Maybe it’s more that I’m weighted down in pain. Shouldn’t I feel light as a feather with the burden of a relationship removed from my back? Or did I finally get rid of the load to be hit by a ton of bricks?
Oh well. It was fun, right? Fun enough to lose almost all connection with the world outside for this? Fun enough to give my friends up for yours? Fun enough to use/waste all my funds on your amusement? Fun enough to remember the good times and shrug it off after it’s over? It was fucking Six Flags, wasn’t it? Oh, it was Six Flags alright. A roller coaster ride that went straight down, but it was a slow decline, so it would be easier on the weak of heart. Guess only one passenger out of the two that ride survive. OH WELL.
Maybe I can ask you a few questions. Why did even start it with me if you knew this was going to happen? When you knew that your feelings weren’t stronger than steel? Why figure that it will grow with time? If they weren’t like steel, then they were probably as flimsy as aluminum. Aluminum rusts and when it rusts it’s still as sharp as fuck and if you get cut the only way to get better is to find fast relief. And let me tell you something. I’m trash, but I’m above using whores. Well, I guess I’m wrong there. I racked up quite a bill with you.
Author’s note: If above results in any bodily harm from the audience, Tiger of Oz® cannot and will not be held accountable. The preceding was simply a suggestion of many responses that can be given.
Friday, November 07, 2003
Just a Thought
Did you ever think about how all flour is bleached? What color is it before it's bleached? And is it safe to eat something thats been marinated in bleach? (I don't know if they really use bleach, but I control the universe.) I think I'd have my cookies look a little browner(my mom burns them anyways) if it means I won't run the risk of needing Posion Control on hand.
Did you ever think about how all flour is bleached? What color is it before it's bleached? And is it safe to eat something thats been marinated in bleach? (I don't know if they really use bleach, but I control the universe.) I think I'd have my cookies look a little browner(my mom burns them anyways) if it means I won't run the risk of needing Posion Control on hand.
Tuesday, November 04, 2003
Sometimes: Excerpts from the Mind of a Madman
Sometimes I think that I'm just the stupidest person anyone knows and maybe I'm just too stupid to realize that I am in this dire need of Special Ed. I wonder if retarded people know that they are retarded, or if they recognize other retarded people for that matter. I think life would be a lot simpler. I mean everything would be perfect because ignorance is bliss, right? That wasn't really a question because I know ignorance is bliss. I love the feeling. I miss being a kid. I don't really miss my childhood in particular, just how simple it all was. Nothing to worry about ever!
"It makes me mad at truth for loving what was you."
Sometimes I think that I'm just the stupidest person anyone knows and maybe I'm just too stupid to realize that I am in this dire need of Special Ed. I wonder if retarded people know that they are retarded, or if they recognize other retarded people for that matter. I think life would be a lot simpler. I mean everything would be perfect because ignorance is bliss, right? That wasn't really a question because I know ignorance is bliss. I love the feeling. I miss being a kid. I don't really miss my childhood in particular, just how simple it all was. Nothing to worry about ever!
"It makes me mad at truth for loving what was you."
