Wednesday, May 26, 2004
"An emphasis on function rather than design"
One day, a mad scientist-in-training was cooking up some napalm when, while he was taking a break and drinking a nice, healthy bottle of Coke, one of the lethal chemicals he had on hand, Vanilla X, spilled into his coke. He took a sniff of this new drink and found it smooth. He was intrigued by this smell and decided to have a test subject try out what it tasted like.
The test subject tried the new drink and, right before his stomach exploded, he said that the Vanilla X-Coke mixture was amazingly smooth and intriguing. The now-mad scientist decided to use regular vanilla in the coke and, when another subject drank this, he also thought that it was smooth and intiguing. His stomach, however, didn't explode. This disappointed the doctor.
The doctor decided to send this new mixture to the Coca-Cola factory. He tried to sell them the Vanilla X-Coke, but they thought that was a little too dangerous. This started a horrible chain of events that goes on today. The company paid the scientist millions of dollars for his genius idea. He was disgruntled, however, because they did not buy his Vanilla X-Coke.
He now uses the money he made to go to the numerous Coca-Cola factories around the United States and pour Vanilla X into the vats of Vanilla Coke around the globe. You shouldn't worry about this, though. I'm pretty sure he hasn't gotten to your town.....yet.
(I hate the ending as well, but anything to imagine someone's stomach exploding.)
One day, a mad scientist-in-training was cooking up some napalm when, while he was taking a break and drinking a nice, healthy bottle of Coke, one of the lethal chemicals he had on hand, Vanilla X, spilled into his coke. He took a sniff of this new drink and found it smooth. He was intrigued by this smell and decided to have a test subject try out what it tasted like.
The test subject tried the new drink and, right before his stomach exploded, he said that the Vanilla X-Coke mixture was amazingly smooth and intriguing. The now-mad scientist decided to use regular vanilla in the coke and, when another subject drank this, he also thought that it was smooth and intiguing. His stomach, however, didn't explode. This disappointed the doctor.
The doctor decided to send this new mixture to the Coca-Cola factory. He tried to sell them the Vanilla X-Coke, but they thought that was a little too dangerous. This started a horrible chain of events that goes on today. The company paid the scientist millions of dollars for his genius idea. He was disgruntled, however, because they did not buy his Vanilla X-Coke.
He now uses the money he made to go to the numerous Coca-Cola factories around the United States and pour Vanilla X into the vats of Vanilla Coke around the globe. You shouldn't worry about this, though. I'm pretty sure he hasn't gotten to your town.....yet.
(I hate the ending as well, but anything to imagine someone's stomach exploding.)
Tuesday, May 11, 2004
Closing Time
Long time for me to be away from you, H.A.L. I've thought about you, but I'm sure I'm one of the very few who has considering the lousy number on the hit counter. Of course, that was a diminishing number even before I took a break. I was scared I would have nothing to tell you, but now things are filling my head faster than I can type. However, they are all the things common to other sites and blogs, much like the quizzes, but I feel like conforming and I think they are some good stories to tell.
First and foremost, Van Helsing is more than likely the worst movie ever, beating out Hugh Jackman's other flop X-men and even the dreaded XXX,(That's Triple X for you non-jive turkeys.) not to mention pretty much every movie Vin Diesel's ever made.
Tonight may be the last Kids in the Hall(Read Skoora's story in the status bar) ever considering how they are not on the schedule again. Will they go down like so many other great shows? Dark Angel? Buffy? Arrested Development?(Uncertain and I hope to God it's not possible. Idiot Simpson watchers, I hate you all.)Those are on DVD now, as is Kids in the Hall, so I don't really have to worry worry about it, but I am poor and those cost 50 large each. But no matter how much The Wire DVDs cost, I am buying those when they come out. I have a crush on Jimmy McNutty and Avon Barqsdale(I like it that way.) and Omar ____ and that half Puerto Rican(dirty things)whose name I never learned and even Bubbles. Invader Zim Vol. 1 came out on DVD(Only $20. Take note, you CFOs out there.) today and that was ecstatic. I have already watched the Pustulio episode and plan to re-memorize them all. Unfortunately, they progressively get more expensive since the later volumes come with toys and the last one comes with Zim's house. Oh well. Guess I'll work.
I had Chris Rock in my head "Lotta people here tonight." and I'm not sure if he said it or if someone making fun of him said it. It had something to do with something I had planned on saying I'm sure, but whatever. Maybe it's because the leprachaun owes me the season finale to OC and he's always talking about that dumb nigger. As Gilmore Girls gets closer to its season finale, I begin to understand that next season is the last season. However, I realize just now that I am fine with it considering Alexis is going to be doing The Orphan King with Michael K. Williams and as long as Laury(I called her that while we were going out.) keeps doing roles like the one in Bad Santa.
My dad was telling me about his Army days and he was doing these Italian and German impersonations with Mexican accents. Hilarious as shit.
I was going to leave you with a new work of mine, but it seems as though it is other room and my fatass is too lazy to get up and get it, plus I don't think its completely completed, so I leave you with a joke instead.
What do you do when your dishwasher breaks down?
KICK HER!
Long time for me to be away from you, H.A.L. I've thought about you, but I'm sure I'm one of the very few who has considering the lousy number on the hit counter. Of course, that was a diminishing number even before I took a break. I was scared I would have nothing to tell you, but now things are filling my head faster than I can type. However, they are all the things common to other sites and blogs, much like the quizzes, but I feel like conforming and I think they are some good stories to tell.
First and foremost, Van Helsing is more than likely the worst movie ever, beating out Hugh Jackman's other flop X-men and even the dreaded XXX,(That's Triple X for you non-jive turkeys.) not to mention pretty much every movie Vin Diesel's ever made.
Tonight may be the last Kids in the Hall(Read Skoora's story in the status bar) ever considering how they are not on the schedule again. Will they go down like so many other great shows? Dark Angel? Buffy? Arrested Development?(Uncertain and I hope to God it's not possible. Idiot Simpson watchers, I hate you all.)Those are on DVD now, as is Kids in the Hall, so I don't really have to worry worry about it, but I am poor and those cost 50 large each. But no matter how much The Wire DVDs cost, I am buying those when they come out. I have a crush on Jimmy McNutty and Avon Barqsdale(I like it that way.) and Omar ____ and that half Puerto Rican(dirty things)whose name I never learned and even Bubbles. Invader Zim Vol. 1 came out on DVD(Only $20. Take note, you CFOs out there.) today and that was ecstatic. I have already watched the Pustulio episode and plan to re-memorize them all. Unfortunately, they progressively get more expensive since the later volumes come with toys and the last one comes with Zim's house. Oh well. Guess I'll work.
I had Chris Rock in my head "Lotta people here tonight." and I'm not sure if he said it or if someone making fun of him said it. It had something to do with something I had planned on saying I'm sure, but whatever. Maybe it's because the leprachaun owes me the season finale to OC and he's always talking about that dumb nigger. As Gilmore Girls gets closer to its season finale, I begin to understand that next season is the last season. However, I realize just now that I am fine with it considering Alexis is going to be doing The Orphan King with Michael K. Williams and as long as Laury(I called her that while we were going out.) keeps doing roles like the one in Bad Santa.
My dad was telling me about his Army days and he was doing these Italian and German impersonations with Mexican accents. Hilarious as shit.
I was going to leave you with a new work of mine, but it seems as though it is other room and my fatass is too lazy to get up and get it, plus I don't think its completely completed, so I leave you with a joke instead.
What do you do when your dishwasher breaks down?
KICK HER!
