Thursday, July 29, 2004
Lt. Col. (Willy lives in the basement)
None of it was meant for you
I'd burn every page if you could be back
there is something worse than nothing
this loss is the greatest
I'd have been there first chance
but I recieved word from the grapevine
late as always
and the guardians though it'd be best not to confront it
accept sympathy from those
with no experience
fake that everything's fine
act like it happened years ago
not seeing what went down helped a lot
added layers to the apathy
but words unsaid, thanks not given
will always hang from the rafters
prayers nightly for peace
even though I wasn't able to witness it
bits of your end live on in me
but chunks of you will never die
None of it was meant for you
I'd burn every page if you could be back
there is something worse than nothing
this loss is the greatest
I'd have been there first chance
but I recieved word from the grapevine
late as always
and the guardians though it'd be best not to confront it
accept sympathy from those
with no experience
fake that everything's fine
act like it happened years ago
not seeing what went down helped a lot
added layers to the apathy
but words unsaid, thanks not given
will always hang from the rafters
prayers nightly for peace
even though I wasn't able to witness it
bits of your end live on in me
but chunks of you will never die
Time to Grow Up
There's nothing like me on network tv
I'm a show about nothing
unless sucidal tendencies,
God-awful memories,
self-destructive sequences,
and a whipping boy
is what entertains these days
now I must succumb to
what everyonw wants to see
More of everything that happens to me
the material needs a boost
something to kick up the ratings
a little more bounce in the character's step
an episode about self-medication
an all-night binge
booze and barbituates
meth and mutilation
it's a fad that seems to be working
stick to the formula or else
despite past seasons
the show must go on
There's nothing like me on network tv
I'm a show about nothing
unless sucidal tendencies,
God-awful memories,
self-destructive sequences,
and a whipping boy
is what entertains these days
now I must succumb to
what everyonw wants to see
More of everything that happens to me
the material needs a boost
something to kick up the ratings
a little more bounce in the character's step
an episode about self-medication
an all-night binge
booze and barbituates
meth and mutilation
it's a fad that seems to be working
stick to the formula or else
despite past seasons
the show must go on
Tuesday, July 27, 2004
Tuesday, July 13, 2004
From Ray Bradury's "The Martian Chronicles":
They knew how to live with nature and get along with nature. They didn't try too hard to be all men and no animal. That's the mistake we made when Darwin showed up. We embraced him and Huxley and Freud, all smiles. And then we discovered, that Darwin and our religions didn't mix. Or at least we didn't think they did. We were fools. We tried to budge Darwin and Huxley and Freud. They wouldn't move very well. So, like idiots, we tried knocking down religion.
We succeeded pretty well. We lost our faith and went around wondering what live was for. If art was no more than a frustrated outfling of desire, if religion was no more then self-delusion, what good was life? Faith has always given us answers to all things. But it all went down the drain with Freud and Darwin. And we are still a lost people.
They knew how to live with nature and get along with nature. They didn't try too hard to be all men and no animal. That's the mistake we made when Darwin showed up. We embraced him and Huxley and Freud, all smiles. And then we discovered, that Darwin and our religions didn't mix. Or at least we didn't think they did. We were fools. We tried to budge Darwin and Huxley and Freud. They wouldn't move very well. So, like idiots, we tried knocking down religion.
We succeeded pretty well. We lost our faith and went around wondering what live was for. If art was no more than a frustrated outfling of desire, if religion was no more then self-delusion, what good was life? Faith has always given us answers to all things. But it all went down the drain with Freud and Darwin. And we are still a lost people.
I am apathetic to all
except the fact that I hate summer, summer school, term papers, and Arial font. Oh, and my "friend"s, too.
In dreams
To feel your lips
To cut myself on the edge
The edge of your perfect teeth
Lose all my friends
In places like this
I've got the perfect girl
And she has me on her mind
every moment for all of time
But what more
"My heart isn't broken. I'm feeling no pain. I'm not going crazy. It's no big thing."
except the fact that I hate summer, summer school, term papers, and Arial font. Oh, and my "friend"s, too.
In dreams
To feel your lips
To cut myself on the edge
The edge of your perfect teeth
Lose all my friends
In places like this
I've got the perfect girl
And she has me on her mind
every moment for all of time
But what more
"My heart isn't broken. I'm feeling no pain. I'm not going crazy. It's no big thing."
Monday, July 12, 2004
One of my favorites.(Updated after typing: Eh, not really.)
Making a Monkey out of Robbie
I know I stare at the monkey cage for too long
But there's one that amuses me beyond measure
One of my first times at the zoo
One of the few times I was serious
I saw that monkey and she saw me
And we became interested in each other quickly
Making silly faces
And imitating the other
I was about to pet her
When she punched me a good one
From then on I obeyed the signs
And kept armslength away
But still we would exchange faces
Even though with less frequency
More visitors came and even more left
And she was there to entertain
But I seemed to show up too much
And she threw her poop at me
When my back was turned
When I was glancing at the savages in the tiger cage
And she thought I couldn't hear
Her fellow monkeys laughing hyena laughs
And I would have fed them to the hyens
But I am not the keeper of apes
for I am the one trapped in a cage
"Some people think a stranger is a friend you haven't met yet. Well, I think a friend is an enemy hasn't betrayed you yet."
"I say 'Great.' even though nothing is and I go back to doing what I was doing before, which was nothing, but it was sort of important to me."
"Without the TV on, THERE....IS....NOTHING."
Making a Monkey out of Robbie
I know I stare at the monkey cage for too long
But there's one that amuses me beyond measure
One of my first times at the zoo
One of the few times I was serious
I saw that monkey and she saw me
And we became interested in each other quickly
Making silly faces
And imitating the other
I was about to pet her
When she punched me a good one
From then on I obeyed the signs
And kept armslength away
But still we would exchange faces
Even though with less frequency
More visitors came and even more left
And she was there to entertain
But I seemed to show up too much
And she threw her poop at me
When my back was turned
When I was glancing at the savages in the tiger cage
And she thought I couldn't hear
Her fellow monkeys laughing hyena laughs
And I would have fed them to the hyens
But I am not the keeper of apes
for I am the one trapped in a cage
"Some people think a stranger is a friend you haven't met yet. Well, I think a friend is an enemy hasn't betrayed you yet."
"I say 'Great.' even though nothing is and I go back to doing what I was doing before, which was nothing, but it was sort of important to me."
"Without the TV on, THERE....IS....NOTHING."
Friday, July 09, 2004
Well, I shall return, but only if I go back to the old format where I just criticize my "suburban white teenager" shitpot imagination. If openshoebox ever works again, I'll post more pictures.
There wolf. There castle.
The moon's on the rise and you aren't there to catch me
Power for full-on death in my hands and nothing will stop me (this time)
I can feel the hair growing thicker
I can feel the voice crying towards the sky
looking for the cure but only crying at the problem
The moon cold, hard, and, most importantly, miles away
You've seen the monster I've become
You've run to your Jekyll
but you haven't met Hyde and when you do you'll run back to me
and on the 28th day you won't face the monster you've oppressed
I've been poisoned with the disease you call reluctance
I've been waiting for the antidote of acceptance(nourishment)
but for now I must live in fear
anger building on frustration
frustration building on desperation
desperation building on loneliness
and at the bottom of the pit loneliness digs with its accomplice, anger
and at the top stands a nameless headstone, carved to clarity from miles by frustration
and desperation cries its tears that it is not dated soon enough
There wolf. There castle.
The moon's on the rise and you aren't there to catch me
Power for full-on death in my hands and nothing will stop me (this time)
I can feel the hair growing thicker
I can feel the voice crying towards the sky
looking for the cure but only crying at the problem
The moon cold, hard, and, most importantly, miles away
You've seen the monster I've become
You've run to your Jekyll
but you haven't met Hyde and when you do you'll run back to me
and on the 28th day you won't face the monster you've oppressed
I've been poisoned with the disease you call reluctance
I've been waiting for the antidote of acceptance(nourishment)
but for now I must live in fear
anger building on frustration
frustration building on desperation
desperation building on loneliness
and at the bottom of the pit loneliness digs with its accomplice, anger
and at the top stands a nameless headstone, carved to clarity from miles by frustration
and desperation cries its tears that it is not dated soon enough
