Facebook message written on June 9, 2010[Names removed once sober]
I really wish you let me write that comment to (the bretrayer "Dave")'s UTEP job prospect status. Since (a mutual friend) talked to us, I've expanded it into a full letter. Perhaps I can friend him then post an open letter as a note after I have properly inspected the propaganda newsletter he wrote and any links posted to his wall. I'm sure his response will mostly be concerned with inserting as many $10 words as possible, but let him bring it. The way (the mutual firend) focused on that we have 'wildly different political beliefs' he must talk shit about at least you as a capitalist 'dog'. I don't see how that could be directed at me as I don't lean completely in any direction, but she did group me in. All I know is he friended you and has never even tried to contact me. What a douche.
I certainly know what you mean in feeling alone, though perhaps not in the same context. All my friends have graduated and I feel as if I'm left behind in an empty reality. A dinosaur left to rot. I saw an article on a study that says meaningful conversations make people happier and it proved what I have thought for two years. Everyone is such idiots focused on things and grades. I used to have informed philosophical, political, and scientific discussions with people I truly respected, but I was left behind to try to convey what I thought were simple ideas to what are now my friends.
What do my professors know? They were too scared of the real world and ran back to a place where they were supported by the barrier to entry of a degree that made them necessary to budding children. While it's possible, I doubt they are ready for a true paradigm shift. I see myself as a new Renaissance Man, though I will let others define my skill level. Do my professors hate me for my freedom from a specialty? They constantly suggest I go to grad school and give up this undergrad stuff. "What's the point of 3 bachelors? That's like 3 high school diplomas." The fools! Tesla had FOUR Bachelor's degrees. I can already see how different the fields are and how the knowledge of only one would be incomplete. How have they lived so closed-minded a life? Do they prop themselves up with the 'success' of their Master's? A Mr. Boffo comic greatly influenced me in high school. It had a kid talking to his guidance counselor saying "I want to know more and more about less and less until I know everything about nothing." Or have I failed? Did I give up my upward trajectory for an idea I thought was great as a child?
I've never feared grad school and thesis writing. I simultaneously was president of the physics club and worked on a grant project during the hardest year(based on the collected opinions of my peers) of a physics degree. Surely, no obstacle is unbeatable. But since that year, my peers looked at me as if I was a failure. Why? I don't know. I didn't lose the presidency; I decided not to run. And for my efforts, the next president blamed all his failures on me. Who does that fuck think he is? We averaged 15 or so kids per meeting before I started. I kept that average. After he took over, within a month, only 4 people showed up to a meeting if that. The grant ran out of money before my project was finished. It still breaks my heart, but how can I keep pushing something my advisor has no interest in? And when I see him, he looks at me as a disappointed father would. He gave me no direction. I had to learn about business plan writing myself. I produced the product summary, an early market summary, and an admittedly primitive financial analysis before the money ended and all while one of my teammates worked against me and two didn't work at all (the one other was a great help and was one of the people I mentioned as being able to discuss things).
What am I? A success or a failure? Visionary or delusional? A man or a child?
PS. SPOILER ALERT! There is a scene later in Atlas Shrugged where the 3rd student John Galt meets his former teacher Dr. Robert Stadler, who has sold out to the government. Upon Stadler meeting Galt and without Galt saying a word, Stadler begins to yell that Galt can't make him feel guilty about his path, that he won't apologize for being 'practical'. Is that why "Dave" won't friend me? Because he'll see how different he is, that he's scared of my opinion of what he is.
