Friday, April 16, 2004
Sexy Beast
So, David Lujan and I are moving tables around at a forever undisclosed location. He's setting out all these ugly ass tables, so I tell him to put the other ones out. He says "Why?" and I say "Because they're pretty." This led to him calling one table a "her" and my girlfriend, but I laid it down right there and told him "Her name's Tiffany." The rest of this post is just juvenielle table-humor,(I came up with the name just now.) so feel free to read on at your own risk. I cut out all the parts where I dry-hump the table becuase, quite frankly, it was tasteless.
David went on to say "Well, why don't you like her over there?" He was referring to a table that was covered in paint and partially melted. So, I say "'Cause she's fucking dirrrrty." Then he dropped Tiffany because he didn't set up her legs right, so I yelled at him "Don't you ever treat her that way again or I'll break your neck!" Later, I had her pointed straight up for some reason(refer to earlier dry-humping note) and David started groping her where she would have boobs if SHE was real and said "Look where I'm touching her." So, I said to him "You shouldn't do that. Besides, her legs are her best feature. They curve all the way down."(GET IT! Table legs!) We were trying to put the tables in a certain arrangement and, while talking about Tiffany, David said "She doesn't fit in here." I told him "I agree. She belongs in the middle with all the other tables circled around bowing down to her,(which we set up later just to see what a table god would look like) but she has to be pushed in with these shit ass tables." That has to be the worst line of all the bad ones. To think that it all descended down from David's stupid girlfriend joke. Why must I stoop to the level of twelve-year-olds to be funny?
"She's got legs. She knows how to use them."
So, David Lujan and I are moving tables around at a forever undisclosed location. He's setting out all these ugly ass tables, so I tell him to put the other ones out. He says "Why?" and I say "Because they're pretty." This led to him calling one table a "her" and my girlfriend, but I laid it down right there and told him "Her name's Tiffany." The rest of this post is just juvenielle table-humor,(I came up with the name just now.) so feel free to read on at your own risk. I cut out all the parts where I dry-hump the table becuase, quite frankly, it was tasteless.
David went on to say "Well, why don't you like her over there?" He was referring to a table that was covered in paint and partially melted. So, I say "'Cause she's fucking dirrrrty." Then he dropped Tiffany because he didn't set up her legs right, so I yelled at him "Don't you ever treat her that way again or I'll break your neck!" Later, I had her pointed straight up for some reason(refer to earlier dry-humping note) and David started groping her where she would have boobs if SHE was real and said "Look where I'm touching her." So, I said to him "You shouldn't do that. Besides, her legs are her best feature. They curve all the way down."(GET IT! Table legs!) We were trying to put the tables in a certain arrangement and, while talking about Tiffany, David said "She doesn't fit in here." I told him "I agree. She belongs in the middle with all the other tables circled around bowing down to her,(which we set up later just to see what a table god would look like) but she has to be pushed in with these shit ass tables." That has to be the worst line of all the bad ones. To think that it all descended down from David's stupid girlfriend joke. Why must I stoop to the level of twelve-year-olds to be funny?
"She's got legs. She knows how to use them."
// posted by Unknown @ 8:31 PM 
