Monday, December 29, 2003
My Superhero Girl
How much longer will I drive before I realize I'm desperate in the situation that I'm in again?
If only I could find her. She could fly me to some exotic locale and live on the fruit of the land. I could be a subsistence farmer and not have to worry about anything. My beautiful girl would be at home waiting for me and I could use some branch from a local tree to beat the kids with. Oh well. My imagination takes me to this better dimension way too much. It's very depressing "dreaming of Babylon", if I may say so. It's better than sitting here doing nothing. Instead I'm off being a multiple murderer or mass murderer, whichever one suits the day. Well, actually, I'm doing both, but the latter is so much more fun to emphasize. As I've said before, I need to get laid. Maybe it will help. Probably it won't. I don't need to get laid. I just need to identify my superhero girl. Maybe it will help. Highly unlikely it won't.
"Rendezvous then I'm through with you."
How much longer will I drive before I realize I'm desperate in the situation that I'm in again?
If only I could find her. She could fly me to some exotic locale and live on the fruit of the land. I could be a subsistence farmer and not have to worry about anything. My beautiful girl would be at home waiting for me and I could use some branch from a local tree to beat the kids with. Oh well. My imagination takes me to this better dimension way too much. It's very depressing "dreaming of Babylon", if I may say so. It's better than sitting here doing nothing. Instead I'm off being a multiple murderer or mass murderer, whichever one suits the day. Well, actually, I'm doing both, but the latter is so much more fun to emphasize. As I've said before, I need to get laid. Maybe it will help. Probably it won't. I don't need to get laid. I just need to identify my superhero girl. Maybe it will help. Highly unlikely it won't.
"Rendezvous then I'm through with you."
Friday, December 26, 2003
Tuesday, December 23, 2003
blahg
Be merry, God-loveit!!
Well, it's hours until the best day of the year and everyone is bummed out. Why, you ask? Because no one appreciates anything. They've got a house. They've got heat.(It might snow on Christmas like I said.) They have more than a few presents under the tree, more than likely. Plus, they've got a family that cares about them unconditionally no matter what they think. I, on the other hand, have got no home worth speaking of.(Home, not house.) I freeze my ass off anywhere outside of summer. I've got an immediate family that loathes my existence. They tell me I'm the accident because the first baby wasn't supposed to be conceived until at least a little after the wedding, but Franky here was born when we were more strapped for cash than ever and everybody loves his dopey ass.
I'm not saying that I should be able to complain just because of all of this, but that I'm happier than anyone else I know. Why? You tell me. I've got everything to look forward to. I get to indulge my materialistic mindset. I get to see most of my family for a whole day. I've got some of the coolest friends. And most importantly, Twilight Zone marathon is days away! Tick-tock Tick-tock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Be merry, God-loveit!!
Well, it's hours until the best day of the year and everyone is bummed out. Why, you ask? Because no one appreciates anything. They've got a house. They've got heat.(It might snow on Christmas like I said.) They have more than a few presents under the tree, more than likely. Plus, they've got a family that cares about them unconditionally no matter what they think. I, on the other hand, have got no home worth speaking of.(Home, not house.) I freeze my ass off anywhere outside of summer. I've got an immediate family that loathes my existence. They tell me I'm the accident because the first baby wasn't supposed to be conceived until at least a little after the wedding, but Franky here was born when we were more strapped for cash than ever and everybody loves his dopey ass.
I'm not saying that I should be able to complain just because of all of this, but that I'm happier than anyone else I know. Why? You tell me. I've got everything to look forward to. I get to indulge my materialistic mindset. I get to see most of my family for a whole day. I've got some of the coolest friends. And most importantly, Twilight Zone marathon is days away! Tick-tock Tick-tock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, December 21, 2003
True Tales of Human Trauma!!
My dad and me were arguing about something and at the end I said "I hate it here. It's worse than Auschwitz." My dad says "Well if you hate it so much, why don't you leave?" So I say "I might just take you up on that." So I'm homeless.
After school, me and a friend went to see Return of the King at Tinstletown and before it started I called my mom to tell her that I was watching it. She asks me when it was going to end. I said that I didn't know and that we were at Tinstletown because I assumed she assumed we were at Cinemark. So she says to call after the movie ends to figure out where I'm going to get picked up. So the mediocre movie ends and I call her cell. She doesn't pick up. I call my dad's office and no one picks up. I call the house and no one picks up. I call my dad's cell and he doesn't even pick up. So my friend just gives me a ride to my dad's office. No one is there, so I wait and after a while my dad shows up and a while after that my mom does. She comes in and tells me that I never should have left Tinstletown no matter how long it took her to get there. I try to tell her that she didn't say to wait at Tinstletown so she slaps me and storms out. I get my stuff together while my dad's telling me not to talk back to elders. I get outside to get in the truck just in time to see it drive off.
I set my brother's watch right now and my mom says for my brother to thank me for doing it. So my brother says thanks and she pushes him into saying to thank me. I'm holding him off and they push me, so the chair shakes the desk with the computer on it(So that's obviously my fault.) and she says "If you dont let him thank you, then I'll thank you." So I push my brother harder into her and he makes this joking noise that he's really hurt. She thinks its real and says "Why do you have to be such a little shit? Don't be part of this family, if you can't even act like part of this family." So I'm homeless yet again.
My dad and me were arguing about something and at the end I said "I hate it here. It's worse than Auschwitz." My dad says "Well if you hate it so much, why don't you leave?" So I say "I might just take you up on that." So I'm homeless.
After school, me and a friend went to see Return of the King at Tinstletown and before it started I called my mom to tell her that I was watching it. She asks me when it was going to end. I said that I didn't know and that we were at Tinstletown because I assumed she assumed we were at Cinemark. So she says to call after the movie ends to figure out where I'm going to get picked up. So the mediocre movie ends and I call her cell. She doesn't pick up. I call my dad's office and no one picks up. I call the house and no one picks up. I call my dad's cell and he doesn't even pick up. So my friend just gives me a ride to my dad's office. No one is there, so I wait and after a while my dad shows up and a while after that my mom does. She comes in and tells me that I never should have left Tinstletown no matter how long it took her to get there. I try to tell her that she didn't say to wait at Tinstletown so she slaps me and storms out. I get my stuff together while my dad's telling me not to talk back to elders. I get outside to get in the truck just in time to see it drive off.
I set my brother's watch right now and my mom says for my brother to thank me for doing it. So my brother says thanks and she pushes him into saying to thank me. I'm holding him off and they push me, so the chair shakes the desk with the computer on it(So that's obviously my fault.) and she says "If you dont let him thank you, then I'll thank you." So I push my brother harder into her and he makes this joking noise that he's really hurt. She thinks its real and says "Why do you have to be such a little shit? Don't be part of this family, if you can't even act like part of this family." So I'm homeless yet again.
Saturday, December 13, 2003
Ode to a Goth
Lock myself in my room
I draw the curtains
A raven crows
A crow ravens
Lock myself in my room
I draw the curtains
A raven crows
A crow ravens
Thursday, December 11, 2003
Hey! It doesn't rhyme. Therefore it's not just art, it's artsy fartsy.
carlos el segundo
Another volcano emerges from my Neanderthal-like brow
I force it to erupt remembering the joy that put it there
Consuming your fat makes me expand in these ways
My bowels are streamlined and poisonous from your grease
Screaming from the bathroom is more of an orgasm
Too bad my pores clog with too many visits
carlos el segundo
Another volcano emerges from my Neanderthal-like brow
I force it to erupt remembering the joy that put it there
Consuming your fat makes me expand in these ways
My bowels are streamlined and poisonous from your grease
Screaming from the bathroom is more of an orgasm
Too bad my pores clog with too many visits
Saturday, December 06, 2003
The Devil's Influence on My Life
Today, I was setting up XP on the computer and it said to enter the product code. Low and behold, out of the 25 numbers, six shows up three times in a row. Then, I was looking at my horoscope(I have to have something lift up my life.) and under the daily numerology section it says:
Daily Numerology
This day is sure to see you completely focused on the issues and environment in your home, Robbie, as it's a 6-Day. This creates an opportune time for you to take care of any problems that are causing a lack of unity in the family. It only takes one member who is troubled over something to throw the balance off in an entire home. See about this by talking with everyone. Dinnertime can be a perfect time if everyone is home. If all else fails, call for a family meeting.
Not only is it a 6-day, but it says to help mend the family. FUCK THAT. This is beyond fixing. I'm getting out of here even if I have nowhere to go so stop trying to talk me out of it, mother fuckers.
Today, I was setting up XP on the computer and it said to enter the product code. Low and behold, out of the 25 numbers, six shows up three times in a row. Then, I was looking at my horoscope(I have to have something lift up my life.) and under the daily numerology section it says:
Daily Numerology
This day is sure to see you completely focused on the issues and environment in your home, Robbie, as it's a 6-Day. This creates an opportune time for you to take care of any problems that are causing a lack of unity in the family. It only takes one member who is troubled over something to throw the balance off in an entire home. See about this by talking with everyone. Dinnertime can be a perfect time if everyone is home. If all else fails, call for a family meeting.
Not only is it a 6-day, but it says to help mend the family. FUCK THAT. This is beyond fixing. I'm getting out of here even if I have nowhere to go so stop trying to talk me out of it, mother fuckers.
As I swim through the abyss
I see a bright light in dark
With radiance like the sun
And swooning powers like larks
It is just so beautiful
I am lost in a nightmare
Now finding this guiding light
Completely nulls the terror
Thought I was back in the game
To find I'm kicked off the team
Seems like I always choose wrong
No matter how right you seem
I see a bright light in dark
With radiance like the sun
And swooning powers like larks
It is just so beautiful
I am lost in a nightmare
Now finding this guiding light
Completely nulls the terror
Thought I was back in the game
To find I'm kicked off the team
Seems like I always choose wrong
No matter how right you seem
Wednesday, December 03, 2003
Sometimes: Excerpts from the Mind of a Madman
Sometimes I can't wait to see what dying is like. If it's anything like this, I'll give up now because it's pointless to go on if it's going to end like this, anyways. I feel like I've been punched in the stomach and can't catch my breath. I feel like my heart is going to beat right through my chest, then I'll be able to see how broken and stressed it is, then I could die. Blood blinding me, soaking my shirt, and spraying the screen.(I wonder if I'd piss my pants because I'm holding it in real bad right now.) Be kind of like a B-zombie-movie gore scene, but who cares? The coroner, maybe, but otherwise, no. I don't care I hate myself, too. I wish I could just fast forward 5 years or go back all the way. God, there are so many things I wish I could change. High school, middle school, and, yes, sadly, even, elementary because now that I look back I was everything I hate. I'd want to change every bad decision I made, too. I wonder how I'd deal with all the "loves of my lives" because I am not built to cheat on people. My thighs are too scrawny.
"I feel horrible. She doesn’t
love me and I wander around
the house like a sewing machine
that’s just finished sewing
a turd to a garbage can lid."
-Richard Brautigan(He's in my top three greatest writers.)
(Read the first line only, then the first and second line only, and so on.)
Sometimes I can't wait to see what dying is like. If it's anything like this, I'll give up now because it's pointless to go on if it's going to end like this, anyways. I feel like I've been punched in the stomach and can't catch my breath. I feel like my heart is going to beat right through my chest, then I'll be able to see how broken and stressed it is, then I could die. Blood blinding me, soaking my shirt, and spraying the screen.(I wonder if I'd piss my pants because I'm holding it in real bad right now.) Be kind of like a B-zombie-movie gore scene, but who cares? The coroner, maybe, but otherwise, no. I don't care I hate myself, too. I wish I could just fast forward 5 years or go back all the way. God, there are so many things I wish I could change. High school, middle school, and, yes, sadly, even, elementary because now that I look back I was everything I hate. I'd want to change every bad decision I made, too. I wonder how I'd deal with all the "loves of my lives" because I am not built to cheat on people. My thighs are too scrawny.
"I feel horrible. She doesn’t
love me and I wander around
the house like a sewing machine
that’s just finished sewing
a turd to a garbage can lid."
-Richard Brautigan(He's in my top three greatest writers.)
(Read the first line only, then the first and second line only, and so on.)
Monday, December 01, 2003
The Devil's Influence on My Life
Did you hear? Stephen King got pnemonia the day before my birthday. All that 666 stuff was adding up. To what? 1332? No silly, the destruction of a formerly great writer. I can't believe the ending to Wolves of the Calla. Horrible, you senile man!!
Did you hear? Stephen King got pnemonia the day before my birthday. All that 666 stuff was adding up. To what? 1332? No silly, the destruction of a formerly great writer. I can't believe the ending to Wolves of the Calla. Horrible, you senile man!!
